The art of Patience

“This does not mean that the enemy is to be allowed to escape. The object is to make him believe that there is a road to safety, and thus prevent his fighting with the courage of despair. After that, you may crush him.”

Sun Tzu

Last week i had to take a trip with some acquaintances.
And let me tell you, going on a trip is well overrated, specially those abroad.
In one word, FUCK! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck and fuck.
And in case i wasn’t clear enough, FUCK…

Now that we got that out of the way, people can be such pricks some times.
And when you think you can tolerate some one, they go the extra mile and fuck you, fuck your patience and fuck your money.
Don’t get me wrong, if it was a woman doing that, i would give my money as well spent, but an acquaintance?…
I think that’s a little bit too much, just a little…

Don’t you just hate it when you have an acquaintance that needs to have the last word about everything?
Don’t you just hate it when you have an acquaintance that thinks his always right about everything?

But the worst thing is when he tells you that he values your opinion and then just ignores you, or even worst, tells you you can any pick a color as long as it’s black.

So to them all i have two words FUCK YOU.
Join me in saying this liberating words, FUCK YOU!
Come on, you know you can do it, it’s easy, say it, FUCK YOU, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

And with that we finish today’s lesson on anger management.
Tá tá

Mohebius

Professional Fire Starters

I am part of a world were people’s jobs is putting out fires. You could think that this means that we are some kind of firemen, well yes, but unlike our “real” world counterparts that handle “real” world fires, we get the chance, from time to time, to build vast virtual forests on top of nitroglycerin filled barrels (Cool hu?). These forests are strangely known for their tendency to go BUUUM.

Although I have to admit that the real firefighters do have the advantage of being able to be sexually harassed by women in heat while stripping in some strip joint ending in a twelve to one gang bang with massive lesbian action fuck party. ( Whyyyyyyyyy???????… Lucky bastards… sniff).

Another great characteristic of my wonderfully world is that probably all the fires that we have to put out were created by ourselves or by the people next to us and when we put out the fires we handle, most of the time they just shift somewhere else.

With things more or less clarified I have to say that my interest in this post is not really in the activity itself, but the people that do it.

Most of us handle all these flammable matters with the appropriate care but, like with all volatile things, shit happens… and the next second everything is toast.

People create these fires accidentally, on purpose or even, by pure politics, simply choose not put out the fire some one else lit.

I’ll enumerate a few classes:

1. – Firefighter guy

The guy who accidentally blows up stuff. This is the largest segment of the population in this line of work. He can swap categories once in a while, but most of the time he knows his place.

2. – Joker Intern Firefighter guy

The trainee guy that starts a fire because he decides to have fun, is plain stupid or childish. He is going to be caught, dealt with and probably come out resembling the ashes of his creation.

3. – Asshole Firefighter guy (Can also be designated as “Stupid Dumb Shit God Damn Mother Fucker Firefighter guy”)

The guy that starts a fire because he decides to burn someone else, is just ignorant. He may get away with it once or twice, but the Firefighter guy that only accidentally blows up stuff is not stupid and sooner or later his evil schemes will backfire. If he does manage to get away with it some how, he may evolve into the next category.

4. – PM (Postulant-Masochist) Firefighter guy

Now… Creating fires to be able to put them out latter on is just genius. These are highly qualified professionals that are able to perpetuate the company’s needs in their services, thereby assuring their own job, and most of all, and this is the genius part, get away with it clean by blaming someone beneath him in the hierarchical pyramid. He most probably evolved from the previous category and retains most characteristics.

It’s a fiery moebius strip.

(Please do not misinterpret this last sentence into something along the lines of Mohebius stripping in a flaming plateau… just… Yuck. Nasty stuff man, I’m feeling sick.)

Metal Storm

A little bird whispered in my ear…

“I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, ‘Come!’ I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine, and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth”

Book of Revelations 6:7-8

Most of the time I’m sitting at some random meeting at work, I’m amazed by the amount of bullshit that’s spit out in one single meeting. The amount of crap some executive can throw at you is unbelievable. If you don’t pay attention, you’ll be fucked in no time. You’ll have to work more, do more, produce more, and with a little bit of luck, be paid less.

Speaking of which, we have clergy. Yes, you totally read that right: religion is bullshit.
According to the holy church, there’s a man who lives in the sky, who watches everything you do at every single moment (yes, that includes your everyday private jerking-off-moment-while-contemplating-your- totally-nonexistent-sex-life) and this man has a list of ten things you shouldn’t do. And if you do any of those things, you’ll spend the rest of this eternity in the fiery damnation of Hell! …but He loves you!

Oh and did i mention that He also doesn’t give a shit? Look at all the famine, all war, not enough rape, and we could not leave without mentioning George Bush (junior) …
This is the point where you go ‘No He cares about us, his child died for us’, and the i say ‘yes, that’s true, but also happened in a time when chickens had teeth’.

Come on, if you still believe in that, the you should also consider Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. At least they don’t throw you to eternal damnation if you spit on the side walk or try to rape your neighbour… Wait, that one is actually against the law, strike that one…

And so we part, I’m now going to repent my sins and pay a Dominatrix to expiate them for me.

Charoum & Mohebius

Food and such oddities

“Lasciate Ogni Speranza Voi Ch’Entrate”
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

in Dante Alighieri’s The Divine Comedy – Canto III

on today’s menu we have the “intra-work relationships” special.
this is composed by a portion of man, a portion of woman, two table spoons of passion and a dash of hot hot indian spice.
like all dishes with hot spices, one needs to really like that kind of food to enjoy them…

One of the problems of eating out like this is that basically you’re fucked.
First in a good and sweaty way, but after it just leaves a bad after taste specially if rimming is included as desert.
Your colleagues begin to suspect something, either because your not careful enough, or just simply because of all the bragging. The cleaning woman begins to complain about all the stains in the meeting table and the foot prints on the wall.
And then there’s the all hierarchical shit. If she’s on top of you, she’ll enjoy it more and scream louder, and if she’s beneath you, the probability of she yelling ’sexual harassment’ is, how shall i put it, more percentage that you have that that child is yours…

So take Dante word for it, and don’t venture on foods you don’t know…

Mohebius