Changes…

To Spit or To Swallow, that is the question.
“Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them.”

William Shakespeare – Hamlet

And so we begin our fair journey into the town of Verona, where the fair ladies are judged upon a whim of a man.
On our fair town there were two main currents of thought, the spitters and the swallowers. This separation was not only one of thought but also physical, as the two “Families” did not get along.
A less fortunate person could say that it was good enough that a woman would allow the product of one’s pleasure to be spilled within her, but this was an issue greater than that. This was a matter of principle.
Our story revolves around a young couple, a boy and a girl, that for the sake of argument we’ll call them Sir Ferdinand and Lady Marion.

He was a educated young man who knew what he wanted, and she was, lets say, a gifted young woman, but to the dismay of all, she was part of the spitters “family”.
They met at a brazilian style “suruba” and became fond of each other. They started meeting in secrecy because of the relations between the two “families”.
In public they were forced to show hate for each other but in private everything was allowed. Well not everything because of the way they were raised, when she used the tribute that God have give her, her velvet tongue, when the special moment came, she would pull it off and if anything got into her mouth, she would spit it on to the drapes…
A long and hard (especially hard) way they went, defying the family traditions. She was scared to abandon all that she’d ever known, but his calming words performed miracles of such great magnitude as her suction talents: “heed me, my dear, for one day, when your heart is ripe, that gag reflex will be gone for good”. She took comfort in his words, and showed him a couple of tricks that made his mind trip deeper than ever before.

Their relation grew, and so did their lust… And on a full moon night, he said “my love, i think we are ready for joining both our “families” “. She knew what he meant, swallow. And so, after a long time of training, and a couple of drapes after, she was ready to try it. After some tongue work, Sir Ferdinand was ready to arrive in paradise, and so violently he came, as he had never come before. She thought she would drown, as it wouldn’t stop, but then, as a miracle, her throat opened up and allowed everything in. She was in shock, but there was no turning back, she was now a true swallower…

Mohebius, Charoum & Metal Storm

A Day in Paradise.

Once upon a time there was Sara. Sara could easily be considered a sexy person who’s style probably would not appeal to all.

All her friends knew her as a naked large breasted drunken satanic priestess with tattoos and piercings that drives a sports car and once was pulled over by the police and was forced to endure a gang bang by the whole police headquarters while performing a black mass with a 21″ strap-on, making the Police chief her bitch…

From that event a beautiful friendship was born that has endured to this day. Boy, that was a good strap-on, she hasn’t used another ever since. She also took a vow. She would never wash it. Everybody knows that washing strap-ons ruins their flavor.

Which bring us to her day job, the candy store. Where she fulfill her dream of selling candy to children, and their parents of course.

She had all the flavors you could think, but the most sought out one was the ‘large black dildo on steroids with nutra sweet’. That was popular with the young children and divorced women that joined her congregation alike…

The maintenance and raw material for the production of such successful candy was guaranteed by her night job. Anal fisting masochist mistress. She could also keep her sweet dildo at use. And she did. She would drive it deeply and harshly through any ass as no one could. Obviously such perfectly toned activity could only be carried out by a professional so in touch with its tools. Sara was the best at it.

The fame for both her jobs grew larger and larger. It even got to the point where her candy customers would ask for a glimpse of her strap-on to drool, and her nightly customers would ask for candy, shoved in all the wrong places of course, while drooling, but in this case the drooling was because they’re mouth was filed with the end all be all of dildos, giving them the taste they were anxiously awaiting for.

Unsatisfied customers or event critics were dealt with in a most delightful way. People that even thought about questioning Sara’s methods or services was instantaneously bitch slapped into reason. Afterwards they were sent to the deepest most dark corners of Sara’s dungeon, to be later on reborn as eternal sex slaves and disciples, showing nothing but utmost devotion and pain tolerance. Constipations were instantaneously cured by the conversion process and both Prince Albert and Princess Albertina were commonly known to appear.

And then there was Alice. She lived in her wonderland, with vanishing cats, rabbits with hats and queens with large fury pussys. What she liked most about her wonderland was the Egg that she always tried to fit into her behind without breaking. This activity brought her serious health problems as her rectum became injured by all the egg shells that pierced it. She had to stop shitting for a while, which explains why she always talked crap.

Eventually she meet Sara. She was the best thing that ever happened to her, after the discovery of nicely shaved pubs, and ball gags.

Her rectal injury almost took her life when the king tried to fuck her ass and got with his dick all scratched by the egg shells. The queen noticed the king’s fucked-up dick and tried to have her head. By head I obviously mean, suck her strap-on that unfortunately was covered with rusty tetanus infected razor blades.

When all seamed lost Alice managed escape her wonderland by stop doing drugs. All was accomplished with the help of Sara, that stuck her strap-on into Alice’s throat for about a week. This way she had no choice but to use her nose only to breathe.

And both lived happily ever after as a lesbian, fist fucking, lollipop sucking, cherry licking, waxed nipples, satanic priestesses that did black masses on Sunday afternoons, dynamic duo.

Mohebius & Metal Storm

Love thy neighbour…

“Love hinders death. Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love. Everything is united by it alone. Love is God, and to die means that I, a particle of love, shall return to the general and eternal source.”

Leo Tolstoy – War and Peace – Book XIII, Ch. 16

Today we’ll conduct a poll with the objective of discovering where do you stand on lacie underwear.

A – It’s a must
B – Yes i like it
C – Does it show?
D – Been there, done that.
E – Under where???

I myself am a firm believer on fancy underwear. I mean, if they must use it we might as well enjoy it.
And nothing says more about a woman than her underwear and the way she reveals it.
Underwear is like advertising. If used properly it can sell everything.

And then there is the all lingerie thing. Man i do love lingerie. All women should wear lingerie.
If they would the marriages would last longer, or why do you think man have affairs? Because mistress sluts wear better lingerie.
And of course, suck better… On the “Marriage Manual for Wives” there should be an entire chapter for wearing lingerie, and of course, one for the art of sucking.

But the thing that appeals the most to me is how graphic everything is when good lingerie is involved: you instantly know that it will be an awesome ride! If you get one actually hot girl wearing some granny underpants, you always get that shiver that says “oh shit, it goes all the way to her ears, kind of feeling”, even if the girl is actually a sex goddess…
Of course no sex goddess would wear such a fucking ugly thing (not even on laundry day, after a tornado in the middle of the rain forest). But with goodol’ laced underwear you’ll feel right as rain (and you’ll be holding yourself back from jumping on that like a lightning).

So if you get a choice, choose lingerie, choose awesome, choose living la vida loca, choose sucking without braces.

Mohebius & Charoum.

Einy Minee Miny Moe

“I would do what I pleased, and doing what I pleased, I should have my will, and having my will, I should be contented; and when one is contented, there is no more to be desired; and when there is no more to be desired, there is an end of it.”

Miguel Cervantes – Don Quixote (pt. I, bk. IV, ch. XXIII)

So everything is done with and end in view. The problem is that most of the times things take a strange turn before getting to the end, and some times even after that.

Take STDs for example. For the most absent minded, STD does not stand for Synchronous Twat Dyslexia, but for Sexual Transmitted Diseases.
They are, for some, a modern day plague, for others a way for God to punish the sinners, and to all of them i say, take your heads out of your asses…

I’m as ok as the next man with everybody fucking around, but I’m not ok with some one giving me surprise presents. It’s just a thing I’ve been nursing ever since i was a kid… it’s called Life.

If you want to fuck around go right ahead but use protection, be that knight in shinny armor (maybe even with a tip that glows in the dark, with a little trick i like to call 235 uraniummmm) that she wants, and giver her the ride of her life, or even yours.

And then when you get home after twelve hours of sweat-glowing pleasure, imagine you find out that your partner give you more than you bargained for, and that Chernobyl, compared to your down under is like the garden of paradise.

So wise up and keep that glowing thing away from me…

Mohebius

And at the seven day…

“Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore!”
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!”
Merely this, and nothing more.”

Edgar Allan Poe – The Raven

SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Quitting Smoking Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Your Health.
Now who would want that? Specially when you have such nice herbs one can smoke, that help you see things on a much prettier light.

Take the Star Wars trilogy for example. How do you think George Lucas came up with that story?? I’ll only tell you that it was some good, i mean GOOD shit.
In case of doubt just think of it…
We have an invisible thing called The Force that surrounds us all; A parent that wears a black mask and a leather costume; Incest between brother and sister, and I’m almost positive that the whole episode back on the Moon ofEndor was some bad acid trip, or else how do you explain the Ewoks?

And to prove my point just see how the actors turned out.
Princess Leya smoked more pot that there is savanna in Africa, Obi Wan kept popping out some little robots, and Luke, what can i say but “Use the Force, Luck” (Freud would analyse this Force thing as a euphemism for gang-masturbation).

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of Star Wars as much as the next man, my point is, MAN that shit was really good…

Mohebius

Free Services

Let me ask you a few questions: 

 

Are you the kind of person that believes that the best things in life are free?

Do you think that someone should never pay for sex?

Do you think that your better half the most beautiful person in the world?

 

Well then this essay is for you (and every other psycho that enjoys the idea).

 

If you belong to the group of people I have just described, I have news for you. You are wrong. Nothing, but absolutely nothing that has value is free, no one product, book, service, anything you can think off that really has quality is free. It’s reality, live with it.

I can tell you even more, unless you are a movie star or a rock star, your partner is probably not the best looking person in the world. (Those are expensive, which probably is the most distant thing from free that you can find and you probably can’t afford it).

 

Well my friend do not falter. Behold and rejoice, for I possess the solution to these issues, while respecting all believes described above. Please step into my office and follow my thought.

 

If we can have no cost services backed up by advertisement, like internet, car renting and even television to some point, why can’t we have deluxe escort services in the same manner? What does this solve say you?

Well, you could be pleasured by a quality grade 12 person for absolutely no fee. Just ignore the Gillette sticker in his face or the “Lubed by Castrol” sticker in her back and enjoy the ride.

It is probably the best thing in life, its free (you are paying, but not actively so it doesn’t really counts) and they still may not be the best looking persons in the world but they sure as hell are higher in rank that your significant other.

Just think about it…

Metal Storm

The sanctity of leasing

“Thus, during those nineteen years of torture and slavery, did this soul rise and fall at the same time. Light entered on the one side, and darkness on the other.”

Victor Hugo – Les Miserábles
Book II – The Fall * Chapter VII

Relationships is such a vast topic, that due to popular demand (both voices on my mind), the subject is back…
Today we’ll see how the world is twisted and how everything is related, no matter how far fetched it seems.
Take Leasing and Marriages for example. For the untrained eye they have nothing in common, but if you look closely…

Leasing normally works by first selecting the object of your desire, that you can’t obviously afford, or you wouldn’t need a leasing, then by giving a down payment, and then your stuck with it for a long LONG time…

Surprisingly Marriages work in a very similar way. First you search for a girl that you want, but normaly can’t have, and in the end you won’t, so you settle for second best, then you give a down payment, meeting the parents and the you marry her being stuck with her/him for a long LONG time…

And all this is the good part, because after this is all downhill.
After some time you begin to see the new models and begin to wonder why can’t you have one of those, but then remember that you leased until the end of time and, as you didn’t have enough money for a decent down payment, you still have a huge residual value to pay for the lease.
Kinda like your marriage, because unless you know/are a very VERY good lawyer your residual payment will leave you working for food, and you can forget about sex.

So if you get an urge think when all the blood in your body is some place else, just pay for it…

Mohebius

Food and such oddities

“Lasciate Ogni Speranza Voi Ch’Entrate”
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

in Dante Alighieri’s The Divine Comedy – Canto III

on today’s menu we have the “intra-work relationships” special.
this is composed by a portion of man, a portion of woman, two table spoons of passion and a dash of hot hot indian spice.
like all dishes with hot spices, one needs to really like that kind of food to enjoy them…

One of the problems of eating out like this is that basically you’re fucked.
First in a good and sweaty way, but after it just leaves a bad after taste specially if rimming is included as desert.
Your colleagues begin to suspect something, either because your not careful enough, or just simply because of all the bragging. The cleaning woman begins to complain about all the stains in the meeting table and the foot prints on the wall.
And then there’s the all hierarchical shit. If she’s on top of you, she’ll enjoy it more and scream louder, and if she’s beneath you, the probability of she yelling ’sexual harassment’ is, how shall i put it, more percentage that you have that that child is yours…

So take Dante word for it, and don’t venture on foods you don’t know…

Mohebius

An hour at lunch

I think Lewis Carol said it best in his novel “The Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” -
“Who’s the more foolish – the fool, or the fool who follows him?”
That said, on our lunch hour we try and follow….
And today’s topic was…

Rim jobs aka Rimming

By definition, a person who has a job working at RIM, or as someone so elegantly put it in our trustworthy Urban Dictionary

Rim jobs are the untold truth of no barriers relationships.
Some try to put it in a way that sounds almost pleasant, but come on, the tongue was not built for that, or was it?
Sure that’s an area with a lot of nervous connections but so is your penis, and do you get a tongue ?…
oh wait, maybe you can get someone tongue down there…
I see possibilities here…
This can turn out to be a nice experience after all.

But even this is nothing new, it has even been done by the ‘this is not sex’ President.

And as long as she’s down there… hell!, lets live dangerously.

So tell us your experiences and come back for the second installment of our lunch hour.

Mohebius