Crime and Punishment.

“Go at once, this very minute, stand at the cross-roads, bow down, first kiss the earth which you have defiled, and then bow down to all the world and say to all men aloud, ‘I am a murderer!’ Then God will send you life again. Will you go, will you go?”

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment, Ch. 30

On a more serious note, today we’ll speak about something that happened some time ago.
To protect the innocent (although none of them are) the names will be changed, and yes, this is based on a true story. (…)

The Longest Chimera

This title was not chosen by chance, but by deep consideration. I will not write about my opinion of the band “Chimaira” which I do hold in dear respect (Rock on). This post is about the longest chimera of them all, Life. No, I’m not insane (at least not completely) I will not try to explain the intricacies, mysteries or solutions to one’s life. I am going to talk about friendship.

As all journeys need companions so does life. I cannot imagine enduring such a voyage, the single most difficult test laid upon us all, by myself. I confess that I am nothing by my own. I love spending whole evenings by myself, but while finding strength in the knowledge that there are people which I can rely on.

All this did not come in vain, it is not a simple collection of ideas, it has a reason. You see, I lost one of my dearest friends, if not my dearest friend, not long ago. I lost him not by fatality, not due to foul play but by choice. Few things in my whole life where so hard to surpass.

Ever since I knew him, I kept facing different challenges in my life. Some were hard to accomplish, some were easily conquered but all contributed in some manner to my evolution as a person. I kept meeting different people, some more educated, some mode sophisticated but all giving me the opportunity to learn and evolve with them too. I never imagined that while I just grew up I would come to find most of my friend’s behavior and ideology intolerable.

I’m not an intolerant person. I am not someone who’s idea must prevail above all. My friend simply did not change. At least not in the same way I did. I matured along the years and ten years passed since I first knew him. I saddens me to have to come to the conclusion that he still acts like a 16 year old and shares the same cultural background as one too. I am not one to discuss which of our personalities is better or worst, my point is we grew incompatible.

A series of unfortunate events led me to notice this but ignored it as it could simply be a misconception on my part, maybe I was being to harsh on him. The last drop was a simple “just for fun” argument turned sour, during the whole conversation I could only think “My god, are you a complete moron?” and everything he said could be effortlessly translated into “Yes I am, how come you never noticed?”.

And I never really did notice… but now you talk about it. Goodbye.

Metal Storm